5 Ideas For A Great “Arrested Development” Party

The Bluths are back! Want to celebrate with an Arrested Development party? Here are 5 ideas for a party the Bluths would be proud of.

1) Décor.

Set the mood with AD-style decor. Try a platter of wax fruit, HomeFill books and records, and rickety furniture from Goodwill that will fall apart the moment someone leans back.

Don’t forget a banner that is either awkwardly affectionate….

Arrested Development family love michael

Source: Tumblr

or hilariously brutal.

Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

Naturally, a giant yellow banana stand would not be out of place.

2) Have plenty of food and drinks.

Must have: Frozen bananas (try this recipe). Must not have: Hot ham water and a dead dove (do not eat). Also consider fried cornbread a la the Cornballer, a Skip’s Scramble breakfast skillet, mayoneggs, and juice. Lots and lots of juice.

Source: Tumblr

Source: Tumblr

3) Throw an AD party, costume-style.

Suggest these costumes to your guests:

– A magician who enters to Europe’s “Final Countdown”
– Someone with a hook. “I’m a monster!”
– A bald man in a bad wig and straw hat.
– Cut-offs. “There are literally dozens of us.”
– A leather daddy.
– An age-inappropriate mother-son duo in matching sailor suits.
– Inside-out clothes, crazy headwear, and a stuffed animal backpack.

4)    Have plenty to do.

15 episodes aren’t enough entertainment for you? Hire an incredibly inept magician or a politically-incorrect puppeteer. Reenact light saber fights from Star Wars. Karaoke (with or without “Afternoon Delight”). Have a chicken dance-off with prizes for accuracy.

Or simply play an AD drinking game. Suggested rules:

One drink
– “Come on!”
– “Marry me!”
– Anytime Tobias says something only Tobias would say.

Two drinks
– “I’ve made a huge mistake.”
– Any mention of hop-ons.
– “Her?”

Three drinks
– “No touching!”
– Hot Cops appear
– Chickens are imitated, however badly

Source: IndieWire

Source: IndieWire

Feel free to add to the rules. Just be aware that more than 10 rules for 15 episodes is a LOT of drinking. Not that that’s always a bad thing. Bring on the dizzies!

5) Skip Bluth family party fouls.

Though there are many, a few stand out as big no-nos.

Do not:
– Invite your cousin’s entire address book and get her fired from her movie studio job.
– Yell “Surprise!” at your own party.
– Act like a Milford man. Be a good host; be social.
– Give a terrible speech.

It’s been seven years since we’ve gotten new episodes of Arrested Development. Make the most of it. “Say goodbye to these, because it’s the last time you’re gonna see them!”

Ah, who are we kidding. We’re going to watch them over and over and still not catch every joke.

 

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All This Needs Is That Dial-Up Sound

Searching for what kind of foods to be eating and stumbled upon this…

Image

Seriously? Angelfire still exists AND it’s home to the top search result? Obviously, I clicked through. I was not disappointed.

To see it in all its textured glory, click here.

God, I miss (low) quality site design.

Wrong Side Of The Fence

It had been a long time since I’d jumped a fence.

In high school, we got early release days once a month. My friends and I usually spent the afternoon walking the neighborhood, getting pizza from Nancy’s Pizza in a strip mall near our neighborhood.

We’d walk to a cul-de-sac with homes along the sides and a block wall at the end of it. On the other side of the wall was the back of the strip mall’s grocery store. While it was a place normally reserved for stock boys and delivery trucks, for us it was a shortcut to Nancy’s. Once we got past the fence, we had a short stroll to an opening between buildings and two doors over was a slice of pizza and a soda for just $2.10. Sometimes, the wall had an entrance through it, so we simply had to walk through it. Other times, it was a solid block wall we had to jump. I can’t remember how many times we were surprised by the change in the wall, and I could never figure out why it changed between pedestrian-friendly and solid block so often. Now, I suspect it may have had to do with unwanted teenagers in that cul-de-sac…

I don’t think I’ve hopped any fences since then. So yesterday was a bit of a pickle.

I came home from the office after my fiance, who had dutifully locked the back gate. That’s not normally a problem except this time, my gate key was inside the house – on my desk, right where I’d put it the night before after the neighbor who watched our dog Nala for a few days returned it to me. That would have been fine, except my fiance was asleep on the couch and not answering his phone, so him unlocking the gate wasn’t an option. My options: wait until he woke up, or jump the fence.

Jumping was not as easy as I’d remembered.

This time, instead of having friends willing to give me a boost, I was alone with a 6-foot block wall. Instead of wearing scrappy jeans and an oversized t-shirt, I was wearing one of my favorite dresses for work. And instead of an area devoid of an audience save for my friends, this time I was in plain sight of anyone in my complex returning home from work.

Crap!

I remembered the step ladder I’d seen in our storage unit, so I used that in place of a boost. When I peaked over the wall, Nala gave me a look, her eyes bright with excitement and her head tilted in confusion. She ran to me then back to the gate with a look that plainly said, “Hey Mom, over here! Why are you up there? You should come in through the gate!”

Did I mention, the other side of the fence I had to climb is Nala’s preferred area for doing her business?

I managed to climb over without much incident and without an audience. I managed to maintain a sense of decency even in my dress. I got a few scrapes but didn’t hurt the knee that’s been bothering me and without landing in dog poop. All things considered, it went well.

Jumping fences used to be no big deal, but now it was a last resort that took strategizing to accomplish. I suddenly heard Danny Glover’s character from Die Hard in my head: “I’m too old for this shit!”

At least I didn’t land in dog shit.

——————

Photo credit: philosophygeek

Paging Rev. Obvious

Registering for wedding planning sites gets you even more spam than you might think.  Luckily, at least some of them are worth opening – even if you aren’t interested in the vendor, there are a few gems thrown in.

Like this one I got from a reverend we were told had a lot of spunk.

“You are Getting Married.” Yes, yes I am. Thank you for stating the obvious.

So boring, so uncreative, so devoid of emotion. Where’s the spunk? It sounds like what having my computer marry me might be. (Was he trying to demonstrate how much that would suck? Because it worked.)

It reminds me of an episode from “The Office” where Dwight and Jim ran the Party Planning Committee. Here’s the banner Dwight made for Kelly’s birthday.

If this reverend hired Dwight Schrute to send me an email, that guy is totally off the list. Unless he brings Dwight.

BTW – If you haven’t seen the episode, here’s the classic scene-